'Making plans'

Picture this: I was lying in bed, listening to the dulcet tones of Frank Sinatra, a well-thumbed copy of 'Great Expectations' positioned just to my right and the day's events orbiting in my mind. There's a knock on the door and I'm ever so comfortable so I don't answer it. It persists so huffing and puffing, I haul myself out of bed, across the landing, down the stairs and open the door. I'm a little put out because they appear to be holding a hazardous gardening-type implement. Curtly, they explain to me that they are the Grim Reaper and wish to have a word. But frankly, I tell them that I do not believe that said mythological figure exists and therefore have no wish to interact with them. Unfortunately, some threats then ensued which I will omit for the sake of propriety and soon they are in the lounge. They have the audacity in my own home to tell me that my sun is setting, if you will, and that I do not have very long left. Agitated, I ask them how long. Weeks, they say, maybe a month if I am lucky. I ask them to leave, they comply, and then I was left to contemplate a very sad state of affairs. I had never married, you see, never had any children or deep-rooted relationships of any capacity. I didn't even have any surviving relatives. Who would remember me when I was gone? What a waste of forty years spent watching but never actually living. Valiantly, I resolved to ameliorate the situation. I calculated that I spent a total of ten hours a day at work, including traveling time. Minus sleep and necessary hygiene practices, that would leave me with a total of five hours per weekday in order to accrue mourners. That would be a total of fifty seven hours per week multiplied by four (being optimistic of course). As to where I could meet these people, I defined the characteristics of someone likely to feel strongly about the passing of a very loose acquaintance and then considered their possible haunts. Realising that this criteria was too nebulous and that I wanted to do other things in the time I had left, I simply decided to design funeral invitations, offering free refreshments and decent entertainment-the location and date would have to be finalised- and resolved to display them in public places that lay within a ten mile radius of my house. I included RSVP details so that I could take another approach if this one proved unsuccessful. In less than three days I had made the necessary arrangements and was then able to put up the invitations. I am pleased to say that I was subsequently overwhelmed by the sheer response to my offer-my phone was practically off the hook with not only acceptances but requests for plus-ones, twos, threes etc .Presently, all that

full of endings (incl. that of the life of my friend), this part of my life was called Graceland
With thanks to Wolf Creek Printery for the image.